Letting things flow......

As I mentioned before, my mind is extremely active lately. Although it's always that way.....it seems to be "spilling" out a bit more. Maybe it's because I've given myself a little time away from my daily bead routine. Whatever it is, I'm starting to remember the true essence of my being. I'm a thinker. I live inside my head. Many times I put those thoughts to use. Other times those thoughts wander into other thoughts and have different results. When I was a child, I always thought I'd be a writer or a psychiatrist or some sort of mental healer. Not a "regular" doctor by any means since I'm such a pansy when it comes blood and guts. I feel extremely faint at even the thought of some things! I always wanted to understand how the mind works....why we feel certain things...why we think certain things and why we do certain things. I studied many different religions, philosophies, ways of life and different cultures. All to realize, I really didn't fit into any of them. I could relate to parts of some of them but NONE of them felt 100% true to me or my feelings or beliefs...or...lack thereof. I could appreciate and respect many of them but none of them felt like me. I never understood...and still don't understand....how someone can conform to one thing and say "this is who I am." I once thought they were lucky...because they KNEW who they were and they KNEW what they wanted in life. They have a religion they follow...they have a political party they stand by...they have something they believe in wholeheartedly...whatever that may be! Now.....I feel completely different. I'm very happy I don't conform to one thing. I'm very happy I have an open mind. Sometimes it's a very opinionated one....but wide open it is!!! I'm happy I'm free! I'm happy I'm free to NOT have to agree with everything one group says is right or wrong. I make my own decisions from my own conscience. Some decisions are good...some not so good....BUT they ARE mine! By being a thinker, I've also realized what I don't want. I have no desire to heal the mind of anyone. Although I have a strong interest in psychology, it's that of myself and not anyone else. To be completely frank.....I don't really care why, how, or if someones not in their right mind...whatever that may be. I'm not saying I don't care about the person...I may or may not. What I'm saying is I certainly don't want to be the one to heal them. I have a quote...actually a biblical proverb...... (YES....I have read the bible)......that pops into my head every time I face a personal dilemma or every time I think I need to intervene in the "issues" of another being.

"Physician, heal thyself"

To me, that means to tend to your own thoughts, faults or maybe even shortcomings or habits first and foremost instead of trying to point those out or "heal" them in others. I also have several other definitions I could go into with the meaning since I believe this very short statement means so much. But...I wont. For me...it is a reminder that I need to heal my own inner thoughts and try to make my own life better. That doesn't mean we don't help people or need people to care for others and it certainly doesn't mean I don't care for or want to help others. It means I've chosen to take my own path in life while allowing others to take theirs...whatever path that may be or wherever it may lead them. I've chosen to let them be......

As far as a writer goes.... I'm aware my grammar isn't always the best and my punctuations may not always be in the perfect place. I care about those things though...and I do try. With a little "brushing up" or a refresher, I'm sure I could do quite well. BUT....again....I don't really have it in me to stick with it and I also feel it's not something I care to immerse myself in. Plus.....I'd rather be making things and living in my own head most of the time. BUT.....I really have no rules...... I'm writing now...am I not? By the way.....if anyone should write (not in the have-to sense of the word SHOULD but in the sense he would be perfect for it) would be my husband. Now...there's a good writer! I'm not just saying that because he's my husband.....he really is a fantastic writer. Maybe one day he'll do more with it. Hint...hint Matt...in case you ever read this! I'd make a wonderful literary agent! ; )

Now.... I have to make myself clean up the house a little bit because the dust bunnies are starting to breed rapidly. I'm not a procrastinator with most things but when it comes to housework...I'm pretty good at it.

I just realized I've been blogging a lot again. I wonder how long this will last?

Happy day to all ........

Rebecca : )